We are but a mere spec of sand compared to the vastness of the universe, and our problems or issues in life are even smaller.
If anyone actually knew, I am constantly soul searching ever since I can remember. I was probably in 5th grade; I was [literally] crying, shouting to God about my purpose in life because I was so confused about who I really am. I even waited for him to show himself to me like he showed himself to Noah and Moses. I know, I was a crazy.
I can definitely say that this internship thing
had been a big leap in my life, directly and indirectly. Directly; this is
actually the first time for me to experience working in an actual company, far
from home, with adults working on real projects. And indirectly; it helped a
lot with my relationship with my parents. This experience, above all, had made
me grow in total as a person as well.
I am proud to say that I have been my happiest
in years. And it’s not because I won the lottery, or met the perfect guy. It’s
because I found contentment. Of course, there had been ups and downs the past
few weeks but I guess the simplicity of my life right now is just – right.
With school being out, and with my internship,
I get to work with other people. Basically, I am forced to not be with my
friends, who I realized is what was making me toxic all these past months. Detaching
with a few old people in my life has done wonders for me. Can you imagine I
lost almost all of my pimples? It’s not the soap, it’s the stress that’s the
problem; and I am quite sure that the school work isn’t the reason for all that
stress.
Through this, I feel that God is leading me to
a right new path for me to grow more as a person and as an artist. Maybe the
right path wasn’t sticking with my old friends because it caused me nothing but
stress.
Finally, I have accepted and realized the true
meaning of the statement “people come and go.” It is a fact of life. No matter
how close you are, or how long you’ve been with a person, there is no guarantee
that they will stay, so better not be surprised if people leave in your life.
And I believe, for whatever reason it may be, it’s for the best. It’s nice to
be actually thinking in a broader landscape. I learned that it is a mistake to
chase on people since it takes your time and energy instead of you focusing it
to more productive things.
I have also found a way to convince myself that
love is not my priority in life. I have always wanted to be successful in my career
and, again, it is a waste of time and energy to be focusing on something that
is hopeless. I find that you cannot control people. You cannot make people love
you. But your career, you can control. So I will make that my priority. I am
probably about 15 years behind in achieving my goal but the time to start is
always now, now that I have got my priorities straight.
My life is still far from perfect but I am very
glad to say that it is on the right track.
- 5:31 AM
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